Head 'n' Heart Ops -
A guide to emotions without system crashes

Sharpening our vocabulary (i.e. having proper words for emotions/feelings and needs) helps us to address a lack of access to our (emotional) “data”. 

Of course, other factors come into play, too, which prevent our access to emotions e.g.: (dis)stress, being in a hurry or being too busy all the time (the still often "glorified" busyness). But THE ONE thing that is simple and works for most of us is: growing our emotional vocabulary.

Sharpening your emotional vocabulary - having the words at hand - is one good and essential step. 

Knowing more about YOUR internal human "data" (i.e. the emotions) is essential, too.

Now that we have basic access to our emotional "data” and basic support for interpreting that “data”, it is time to start building kind of an infrastructure for letting that human data flow. Cutting out distractions and focus on what really matters to you at work and in life is essential here.

Creating an infrastructure for letting that emotional data flow also means a deliberate exchange of some of that human data between people from time to time.

One caveat: opening-up DOES NOT mean to tell “EVERYbody everyTHING all the time” (→ see Brene Brown's Dare to lead book for more on this). Being open, being vulnerable is not a zero-or-one, black-and-white "thingy".  Openness always inevitably goes hand in hand with vulnerability.

As you might have noticed, our Head&Heart-Ops tools are getting more and more “intangible”. This is by design. They’re also getting more powerful!

Creating an infrastructure for letting our emotions, our human "data” flow also means to pick up actively on other’s emotional states from time to time.

As I mentioned a couple of times: the more powerful things get, the more intangible they appear to be. 

For this section there are only intangible groundwork practises where our bridge-building work between humans can stand firmly on.

We can do sh*tloads of action without proper human connection (and sadly that still happens a lot). Yet truly effective action at work stands on a firm  groundwork of professional human connection.

Caveat: YOU as the listening person also need to be in “connection mode” to be able to truly listen like that. This may not always be the case. That is OK! The only thing important here is (again :-)): be aware of it!

For this, go back to the tools in the beginning on our capabilities to access and to interpret our emotional data. Ask yourself: In which state am I? If you are NOT in a state to listen to another colleague right now, you are allowed (even: obliged!) to say something like “sorry, I don’t have the capacity right now!” or “I have work to do. Can we have a walk and talk at (suggest a new date)?” 

Remember: True Listening is always about BOTH PARTIES.